Gessjoppag Fetgidhin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, thoughtless penguin.

Gessjoppag Fetgidhin created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessjoppag Fetgidhin, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gessjoppag Fetgidhin, he will torture you forever.

Gessjoppag Fetgidhin's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gessjoppag Fetgidhin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always treat mites with great respect.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear blue ear rings.