Satrildiss is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, wise clam.

Satrildiss created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Satrildiss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Satrildiss, it will turn you into a goat.

Satrildiss' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Satrildiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick gulls.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not make images of living things.