Lophotgup is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, charitable rat.

Lophotgup created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lophotgup, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lophotgup, it will turn you into a dog.

Lophotgup's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lophotgup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never think ill of sick goats.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Do not make images of living things.