Quillcipril is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, happy jaguar.

Quillcipril created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quillcipril, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quillcipril, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quillcipril's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Quillcipril's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Never wear rings.