Vagbisscud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet capybara.

Vagbisscud created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vagbisscud, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vagbisscud, he will remove you from existence.

Vagbisscud's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vagbisscud's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt turtles.

2. Retreat if three manatees approach from the east.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.