Bastcinwik is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, witty wyrm.

Bastcinwik created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastcinwik, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bastcinwik, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bastcinwik's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bastcinwik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bastcinwik four times a day.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. You must love Bastcinwik.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bastcinwik.