Ditlanhom is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, temperamental mole.

Ditlanhom created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditlanhom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ditlanhom, she will be very unhappy.

Ditlanhom's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Ditlanhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Run away if six snails approach from the north.

5. Ditlanhom must be the most important thing in your life.