Fomkabril is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonest swallow.

Fomkabril created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomkabril, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fomkabril, he will turn you into a rat.

Fomkabril's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fomkabril's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fomkabril.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never bounce near dolphins.

4. Hide from black sheep for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.