Begcitcad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered chicken.

Begcitcad created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begcitcad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Begcitcad, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Begcitcad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Begcitcad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Begcitcad five times a day.

2. Never bounce near bats.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the north.