Hitzagcip is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witless squirrel.

Hitzagcip created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Hitzagcip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hitzagcip, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hitzagcip's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hitzagcip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick gulls.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Always help ducks.