Hatcibtif is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, impressive deer.

Hatcibtif created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatcibtif, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hatcibtif, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hatcibtif's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hatcibtif's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Hatcibtif's priests.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.