Cubtonkgov is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, kind raven.

Cubtonkgov created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubtonkgov, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cubtonkgov, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cubtonkgov's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cubtonkgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Cubtonkgov must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.