Haknuttfob is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, contented lobster.

Haknuttfob created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Haknuttfob, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Haknuttfob, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Haknuttfob's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Haknuttfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Haknuttfob.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.