Pinyokfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring snake.

Pinyokfarn created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinyokfarn, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pinyokfarn, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pinyokfarn's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Pinyokfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Do not hurt goats.

3. Hide if eight bats approach from the south.

4. Pinyokfarn loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.