Nigwoddin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever ferret.

Nigwoddin created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigwoddin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nigwoddin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Nigwoddin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nigwoddin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. You must love Nigwoddin.

3. Always look after injured shrews.

4. Never talk about voles.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.