Gemwapcid is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, astonishing pigeon.

Gemwapcid created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemwapcid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gemwapcid, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gemwapcid's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gemwapcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat nuts.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.