Dumvogpopshavwap is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable newt.

Dumvogpopshavwap created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Dumvogpopshavwap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dumvogpopshavwap, it will turn you into a frog.

Dumvogpopshavwap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Dumvogpopshavwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.