Quamfabdud is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, able centipede.

Quamfabdud created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamfabdud, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quamfabdud, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quamfabdud's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Quamfabdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Quamfabdud.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.