Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Yartcarcen Stafmumjophasgeddam loves rats, so they must be respected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not chop down trees.