Sigyamdim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy wolf.

Sigyamdim created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Sigyamdim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sigyamdim, she will torture you forever.

Sigyamdim's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Sigyamdim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sigyamdim.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.