Targpibzogken is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate duck.

Targpibzogken created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targpibzogken, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Targpibzogken, it will turn you into a dog.

Targpibzogken's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Targpibzogken's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat bark.