Vabxemtig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, prudent human.

Vabxemtig created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabxemtig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vabxemtig, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vabxemtig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vabxemtig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured shrews.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away if five foxes approach from the east.

5. Do not listen to music.