Jan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, boastful hippopotamus.

Jan created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Jan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

2. Never talk about mice.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not drink alcohol.