Flatgiddad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish dragonfly.

Flatgiddad created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatgiddad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Flatgiddad, she will be very sad.

Flatgiddad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flatgiddad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Flatgiddad loves seals, so they must be honoured.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.