Xengepbim Lunfudbig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless otter.

Xengepbim Lunfudbig created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xengepbim Lunfudbig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xengepbim Lunfudbig, she will turn you into a snail.

Xengepbim Lunfudbig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Xengepbim Lunfudbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not cook food in pots.