Govlarpstan is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust coyote.

Govlarpstan created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govlarpstan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Govlarpstan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Govlarpstan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Govlarpstan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Hide if five sharks approach from the south.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.