Milbigteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, strong squirrel.

Milbigteen created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Milbigteen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Milbigteen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Milbigteen's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Milbigteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help horses in need.