Yarljatkan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, fast cow.

Yarljatkan created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarljatkan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarljatkan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarljatkan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Yarljatkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yarljatkan's priests.

2. Do not take Yarljatkan's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not kill mites.

5. Never bounce near horses.