Nabcarbinnul is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, irritating swallow.

Nabcarbinnul created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabcarbinnul, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nabcarbinnul, she will throw large rocks at you.

Nabcarbinnul's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nabcarbinnul's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight gulls approach from the west.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.