Tonkparkcan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic porpoise.

Tonkparkcan created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkparkcan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkparkcan, it will turn you into a rock.

Tonkparkcan's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tonkparkcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not kill manatees.

5. Never eat bark.