Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub is a god.

He takes the form of a small, smart seal.

Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub, he will cry a lot.

Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub's priests.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Hide from cyan gulls for they are unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Yarlhabkan Nutcunlamgub must be the most important thing in your life.