Captinbin is a god.

He takes the form of a large, amazing capybara.

Captinbin created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Captinbin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Captinbin, he will cry a lot.

Captinbin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Captinbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Captinbin.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.