Bimmetmapbag is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, ill-tempered faun.

Bimmetmapbag created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Bimmetmapbag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bimmetmapbag, she will turn you into a tree.

Bimmetmapbag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bimmetmapbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Do not covet oxen.