Sitweglid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, deceitful pig.

Sitweglid created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitweglid, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sitweglid, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sitweglid's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sitweglid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sitweglid's name in vain.

2. Sitweglid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Pray towards the north.