Tailtarpnil Yimfenhad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud bear.

Tailtarpnil Yimfenhad created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tailtarpnil Yimfenhad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tailtarpnil Yimfenhad, it will turn you into a duck.

Tailtarpnil Yimfenhad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tailtarpnil Yimfenhad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Do not eat spinach.