Wotkomlopgovquillbim Targdisspan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, benevolent turtle.

Wotkomlopgovquillbim Targdisspan created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotkomlopgovquillbim Targdisspan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wotkomlopgovquillbim Targdisspan, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wotkomlopgovquillbim Targdisspan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wotkomlopgovquillbim Targdisspan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not dye your hair white.