Tonk is a god.

She takes the form of a small, smart badger.

Tonk created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonk, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonk, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tonk's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never hurt pigs.