Volbintad is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient hydra.

Volbintad created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Volbintad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Volbintad, he will turn you into a duck.

Volbintad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Volbintad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. You must pray to Volbintad nine times a day.

3. Volbintad loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Volbintad on top of all buildings.