Bell is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage deer.

Bell created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bell, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bell, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bell's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Never wear cyan coats.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Run away if seven voles approach from the north.