Pitbapbin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish clam.

Pitbapbin created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitbapbin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pitbapbin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Pitbapbin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Pitbapbin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Pitbapbin.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Never pour water over plants.