Yamziglab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, boastful seal.

Yamziglab created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yamziglab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yamziglab, she will turn you into a slug.

Yamziglab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Yamziglab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yamziglab.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Run away if six eagles approach from the north.