Bafnuttmip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, strong tortoise.

Bafnuttmip created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafnuttmip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bafnuttmip, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bafnuttmip's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bafnuttmip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bafnuttmip.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Always stare at clouds.