Hatfosshog is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, staggering spider.

Hatfosshog created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Hatfosshog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hatfosshog, she will make you grow a tail.

Hatfosshog's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hatfosshog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatfosshog.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.