Han is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, quiet jaguar.

Han created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Han, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Han, she will strike you with lightening.

Han's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Han's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Worship no other gods but Han.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect six carbon sculptures of Han on top of important buildings.