Lidkonkam is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, uncaring parrot.

Lidkonkam created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidkonkam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lidkonkam, he will turn you into a puffin.

Lidkonkam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lidkonkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snakes.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always stare at clouds.