Dutfadcud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unfair badger.

Dutfadcud created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Dutfadcud, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dutfadcud, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dutfadcud's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dutfadcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Run away from orange goats, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dutfadcud.