Vonmilgen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless gerbil.

Vonmilgen created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonmilgen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonmilgen, it will not invite you to parties.

Vonmilgen's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vonmilgen's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Vonmilgen must be the most important thing in your life.