Timbadrak is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating porpoise.

Timbadrak created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timbadrak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Timbadrak, she will send minions to preach to you.

Timbadrak's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Timbadrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. You must pray to Timbadrak five times a day.

5. Do not listen to music.