Bapfomtad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced newt.

Bapfomtad created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfomtad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bapfomtad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bapfomtad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bapfomtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back turquoise.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Bapfomtad loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never look at nebulae.