Kimhivtim is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable wyvern.

Kimhivtim created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimhivtim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kimhivtim, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kimhivtim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kimhivtim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kimhivtim.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never paint your chest indigo.

4. Hide from fawn tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Always wear purple.